Male-female friendship – does it exist? When participants in one study were asked this question, it was found that more women than men believed in its success. What is the reason for the discrepancy on this question? Women have lower testosterone levels than men, which is why sex does not represent as much value to them. This does not mean that they do not feel a drive, but they are less likely to think about satisfying their erotic needs. They place more value on forming interpersonal relationships. Men are less likely to believe in the success of male-female friendship because they show more interest in the sexual sphere of life. When is a male-female friendship possible? Psychology highlights several important points. First of all, it encourages us to be honest at the beginning of a friendship. Let’s think about what we expect from a relationship. Is the other person really asexual to us and do we see them as perfect friend/friend material? When we are clear about our goal, there is less chance that the relationship will disappoint us. Male-female friendships are more likely to succeed when both parties are living in a successful relationship with a steady partner. The satisfaction each person derives from a romantic relationship prevents deficits from being compensated through other friendships. When a partner satisfies our emotional and sexual needs, we do not fulfil them in a friendship. The latter provides an additional relationship that enriches us. A woman learns to communicate better with men through a friend. She also gains distance from certain issues, which benefits her relationship with her steady partner. A man, through a friend, opens up to empathy and talking about emotions. As a result, he becomes a better listener to his partner.
Is a friendship between a man and a woman possible?
Many people wonder if male-female friendship exists. Some manage to build and maintain it. Relationships in which one party is homosexual and the other is aware of this from the outset are slightly more promising. Although there is a risk that the gay person we are friends with will become very close to us, this is easier to avoid with the knowledge of his/her unavailability. If we can accept that he will one day move away from us when he falls in love with another man and focus his attention on him, our intentions are not in doubt:) Although a friendship with a gay man is much clearer from the beginning, with a heterosexual man it is also possible to create a relationship free of erotic overtones. Some friendships date back to childhood, others are born in university or at work. It’s worth being vigilant to notice when we feel lonely and start looking at a friend as a potential partner. This will allow us to prevent actions that could cast a shadow over this important relationship.
Male-female friendship – when does the problem start?
Sometimes a friendship between a man and a woman develops over many years, but at some point we start to look at the other person differently. Sometimes there are erotic overtones on our part or on hers. This is fostered by feelings of loneliness, spending every moment together and problems in a stable relationship. When a partner does not satisfy our sexual and emotional needs, we may pursue them with another person. A friend is close by, which is why we often focus our attention on them. It is worth gaining some distance, because by acting impulsively, we make the wrong decisions. We can contribute not only to the destruction of our relationship, but also to the end of a long-standing friendship. Being attentive allows you to spot worrying signals in time and to react accordingly. How can you recognise when a male-female friendship is getting out of hand? The first of the alarm signals is the desire to appropriate the other person only for oneself. We then want to spend every free moment with our friend and feel uncomfortable when he or she goes away to visit family or goes out on the town with friends. If, at a certain point, we give him or her more attention than our regular partner, this imbalance can threaten our relationship. It is worth considering why a friend has become the most important person in our lives. This often points to areas that need work in an ongoing relationship. For example, we lack emotional support from our partner, so we seek it from a friend. If we recognise the cause, we can save two relationships that are important to each other. By working on emotional security with our partner, we will stop burdening our friend with our problems. Let’s not give up his support, but let’s draw it mainly from the romantic relationship.
Longing for a friend is another alarm signal. Any close relationship is important to us and we want to cherish it. However, we rarely miss a friend of the same sex as soon as we get home. We don’t count down the hours until the next meeting. We don’t inundate him or her with messages. If we have been feeling a strong longing for a friend for some time, it is worth considering what it stems from. When we are going through difficult times, such as waiting for the result of an important test, we can look to them for support. The presence of a friend then gives us solace. Sometimes nothing bad happens and we miss our friend. If we look at our behaviour from the side, we can see that it bears the symptoms characteristic of a state of infatuation. The friendship between a man and a woman is asexual in nature. When we start putting on the best clothes from our wardrobe, the situation often gets out of hand. We pay a lot of attention to our appearance when we are getting ready for a date. At that time, we want to show our best side in order to attract the interest of a potential partner. Touch in a friendship is only used in exceptional situations and has no erotic overtones. We do not brush the other person’s hair off our forehead or touch their hand. We usually limit ourselves to hugging when we greet each other. Sometimes we embrace a friend when we want to encourage them in a difficult moment. If the situation is not unusual, and we touch our friend quite often during a meeting, it is worth looking at what this is due to. When male-female friendship is free of eroticism, there is no room for flirtation. If we start sending the other person ambiguous text messages or telling them jokes with sexual overtones, then our relationship goes off the rails. Sometimes it’s worth pausing for a moment to gain some distance from the issue. Otherwise we can bury a relationship that is important to us or get stuck in the friendship zone.
When does a friendship turn into a friendzone?
A friendship between a man and a woman that is initially free of erotic overtones can change its course over time. Sometimes one party unexpectedly falls in love with the other, even though it was not planned. Unrequited affection is a source of pain and suffering. Friends confide in each other about various issues, including dating and male-female relationships. It’s worth getting out of the friendzone to take care of your comfort and give yourself a chance to love another person. If you have ended up in the friendship zone, get an honest conversation. Tell the other person that you have felt something more and this situation is difficult for you, so you want to limit contact. I dedicated one of my earlier blog posts to the friendzone. In it you will find a lot of useful information that you can use for self-help.
Friendship between a man and a woman at work
Friendship between a man and a woman in the workplace proves to be a huge support. We spend many hours in the company, face numerous challenges and sometimes face criticism. When we have a close and trusted person next to us, we can count on their help and consultation. Unfortunately, relationships between employees sometimes become a source of gossip. As long as we hold equivalent positions, we usually avoid accusations of favouritism. Worse, when we develop a closer relationship with the person who is our superior. Then there is a risk that others will turn away from us because of our friendship with the manager/manager/supervisor. Male-female friendships in the workplace can last for many years, enriching our lives. It is worth remembering that when one party feels more than the other, the situation becomes much more complicated. A friendship that is informal can be more easily ended or limited. If we fall in love with a friend, or the other party endows us with affection, we will continue to see each other in the company, exacerbating the problem. Sometimes it is solved by changing jobs.
Boundaries of male-female friendship
By setting clear boundaries for male-female friendship, we can avoid many misunderstandings. If you perceive that they are being breached, react. Alarm signals that are better not to ignore are:
-strong pressure to spend every free moment together;
-longing for a friend;
– attaching more importance to appearance when meeting a friend;
-escalation of touch and its sexual nature;
– hiding encounters with a friend from a regular partner.
Can male-female friendship develop into love?
Romantic relationships sometimes begin with friendship. It’s worth remembering that after a while, desire wanes and then we pay attention to whether we enjoy talking to our partner. Couples sometimes break up when the love cocktail that accompanies falling in love wears off, because they discover that passion has hitherto acted as a glue. Friendship has a more solid foundation because it is based on trust and emotional closeness. Can a male-female friendship develop into love? Yes, especially when both parties are free and there are sparks between them. The next time we go to the cinema together, we end up wanting to enrich the existing relationship with touch and eroticism. Although relationships built on friendship have a good prognosis, sometimes love can be mistaken for lust. By giving in to passion without a deeper feeling behind it, we risk destroying the friendship. Sex changes a lot; afterwards, we are usually unable to return to the old relationship.
When an acquaintance turns into a relationship
A male-female friendship sometimes develops into a relationship. Some people need time to see the other person as a candidate for a partner. Shared experiences bring people closer, as does time spent together. By talking to each other and supporting each other in difficult moments, we establish an intimate bond. As long as it is free of lust, we are dealing with friendship. When there is infatuation and sexual fascination on both sides, we gain the chance to create a successful relationship. Knowing your friend, being able to talk to him or her, sharing passions with each other – all this creates a solid foundation.
How do you end a male-female friendship so that no one suffers?
A male-female friendship ends when one party falls in love with the other without reciprocation. Continuing it could generate unnecessary suffering. In addition, the person who does not reciprocate the love sometimes struggles with guilt and the presence of a friend causes embarrassment. The situation becomes uncomfortable for both parties. How to end a male-female friendship so that no one suffers? Although a male-female friendship into which one-sided desire has crept raises strong emotions, it is useful to look at the issue from a broader perspective. There are times when one person falls in love with another without reciprocation. This does not invalidate all the good times we had together. When ending a friendship between a man and a woman, let’s remember that the other person was once close to us and therefore deserves respect. Let’s not blame her for the situation. The conversation is best had in person. Let’s not end this important relationship through a text message or instant messaging. The other party deserves to meet. Choose your words carefully so as not to offend her. Let’s thank her for the friendship and indicate that we are unable to continue due to the situation. Let us be consistent. We are used to the presence of a friend and the moments we spend together. Sometimes we may be tempted to renew acquaintance. This is not a good solution for either party. The person in love needs distance to weaken the neuronal connections responsible for affection. The party who does not reciprocate the love will feel strange with the knowledge that they cannot openly share their experiences. The end of a friendship is a painful experience, so it is good to meet other people. We all need them to function normally. Initially, going out to dinner with a friend of the same sex seems like a good solution. Talking together will give us emotional security. At the same time, meeting someone of the same sex will be free of the sexual tension that we may fear after a friendship has ended.