What factors increase the risk of infidelity?

Evaluate the effectiveness of the Spell Caster

Women as well as men cheat and it does not depend in any way on gender, material status, prestige or standard of living. Unfortunately, there are no tried-and-tested recipes to counter infidelity in every case. Every relationship is different and much depends on the partners, their needs and their personalities. Infidelity usually occurs as a result of relationship breakdown, loosening of contact, conflicts and misunderstandings piling up and a lack of honest and open conversations with each other about their needs, desires, emotions, plans and dreams. It is commonly believed that only the person who cheats is responsible for the betrayal. However, few people think about what led to the betrayal in the first place. Infidelity is often just the tip of the iceberg, which can be seen with the naked eye, but what is hidden at the bottom of the iceberg cannot be seen. So what factors are conducive to the decision to cheat?

Crisis in the relationship

Many relationships go through a crisis sooner or later. However, many people manage to resolve existing problems and save their relationship in the face of emerging issues. The result can be the development of a relationship and closeness. However, some relationships do not stand the test and fall apart. This is most often the case in relationships where we notice difficulties in communication, aggression and hurting each other by doing things ‘to spite’ each other, previous betrayals and unresolved conflicts that build up. A change in attitude, needs and perspective on life and the world can also cause a relationship crisis. Sometimes there is also passive anger in the form that since the partner is not meeting our needs, we go to another who will meet them for us. However, such an attitude does not herald anything good.

In order to emerge from the crisis defensively and to resolve it, it is worth talking frankly with each other. This often requires a lot of patience, work and a lot of revision in order to reach a consensus that satisfies both parties. Sometimes we also need the help of a psychologist to help us sort things out and come up with new, joint solutions. However, it is very important to really want to listen to each other and to understand your perspective and that of the other person. A study by Brown and Gilligan (1992), however, shows that women trust their emotions less than men. This is because they learn from a young age to distrust their own feelings in the face of experienced hurt. Therefore, when experiencing a relationship crisis, it is very important to look carefully at yourself, your emotions and your needs, but also at the other person. She also has her own point of view, her own desires, needs and feelings.

The personality of the partners

Each of us is different, unique and has a constellation of personality traits that is unique only to ourselves. Each of us has different needs in life, different dreams, plans, priorities. We also differ in the way we interpret the world, the way we think about ourselves and other people. All this influences the way we live, the choices we make and how we function. Indeed, our personality modifies the way we build partnerships, how we nurture them and how we handle conflict situations. People with certain personality traits may experience some difficulties when entering into relationships, and may influence the maintenance or breakdown of a relationship by, for example, engaging in risky behaviour such as infidelity.

For example, narcissistic people need constant self-validation and self-glorification and may seek to draw attention to themselves and put themselves in a better light. People with histrionic personality traits experience difficulty in staying in a stable relationship for long periods of time and may be inclined to enter into various extramarital relationships. A person with a dyssocial personality may have low levels of empathy and conscientiousness, which may increase the risk of infidelity in the future. In contrast, people with borderline tend to have a tendency towards risky and rash behaviour done on impulse, which also predisposes to infidelity, among other things. So everyone is different and has a certain set of unique personality traits that may reduce or increase the risk of infidelity and relationship breakdown. So can we counteract this in some way? Certainly yes! In order to get to know ourselves, our needs and emotions better, it is worth seeing a psychotherapist. He or she can help us to get our lives in order and teach us how to cope with difficult and stressful life situations.

We rarely think about ourselves, our emotions, our needs and our dreams. We live from day to day without thinking about how we feel about ourselves, whether we accept ourselves as we are, what we want and strive for in life. Are we trying to achieve what we want? What steps are we taking to achieve this? How do we feel about our relationships with family, friends? Do we care about the social roles we perform? Do we maintain a certain balance in them, or are we more focused on selected roles and neglect others? Do any of the roles we play significantly dominate our lives because we devote too much energy and time to them? Do we feel too overloaded?

It is important that we are aware that we cannot be perfect in every role and in every area of our lives. That we should be able to notice when one role overloads us too much or we don’t feel satisfaction in performing our roles. It is also worth mentioning that it is extremely dangerous to base your entire life on one life role, such as that of mother or employee, because we risk a lot then. If things start to go wrong for us while we are playing this role, difficulties and failures arise, it can greatly affect our mental wellbeing. In such a situation, betrayal can be a pleasant escape from what makes us sad, depressed and crushed. This is why self-awareness of oneself, one’s needs, emotions, desires, plans and dreams, and the harmonious realisation of oneself in one’s social roles are so important.

Infidelity, whatever its causes, often leads to the break-up of a relationship. Few couples succeed in rebuilding their relationship. Untreated crisis and silence often aggravate the problem instead of solving it. In the face of betrayal, we can reflect and rethink many things This is a very difficult time for a relationship, as we lose trust in the other person and begin to see them differently. Our vision of the relationship, where we would never have imagined it would happen, can also be destroyed. This is a time for intense reflection on ourselves and the relationship. Is the relationship as it was before the betrayal occurred meeting our expectations and being what we want? Do we want to get through this difficult time and get through this life together? If so, what is our common goal?

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